Words to the Wine: Part Two

More twinkling English dialect words that might invigorate the tedious repetitions and formulations of wine-tasting descriptions. I’m not saying that they are remotely appropriate or that you have to use them, but if you feel like seasoning your prose with some rough-hewn local lingo then feel free to borrow to your heart’s content.

Abecedarian – one who must perforce drink anything but Chardonnay. Also, someone who lines up bottles on a wine rack in alphabetical order.

Adoxgraphy – the ability, possessed by all senior wine professionals, to write prolifically, even heroically, on the most anodyne wines imaginable.

Bromridosis – smelling strongly of cheap Sauvignon Blanc.

Brontide – the low thundery sound of a barely animated wine trade tasting.

Cataglottism – sticking your tongue into a wine glass to lick out the tartrate crystals.

Dentiloquent – a wine that talks to your teeth i.e. a tannic wine.

Foin – an arch preference to fine. As is foin woin.

Fusoferuginous – a term invented for wine snobs to describe a red wine of oxidative hue.

Gongoozler –A vin de soif wine that you gulp so quickly you didn’t realise you finished the bottle.

Jumentous – a word that Jay Rayner wished he used to describe all natural wines.

Milquetoast – Lukewarm bread dipped in Pinot Grigio.

Petrichor – A company that bottles mature Riesling smells.

Sabrage – a particular type of road rage which involve aiming a champagne cork at Swedish cars.

Ultracrepidarian – a member of the crustifarian tendency; an ancient wine scribe or educator.

Ventripotent – a wine that goes straight to your stomach and gives you great discomfort.

Xylocarp – hard and woody fruit – what Californian Cabernet aspires to.

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